Invalids, Drunks, Hobos, Dogs and Beans

Wellity, wellity, wellity.

What's been going on?

Thuglife is making a slow but steady recovery. We had some difficult days together, but things get slowly better. My sister informs me that after this weekend, my services will no longer be necessary, and I am free to go. This is fairly excellent for everyone involved.

Everybody is beginning to piece their old live back together, which leaves me free to get started on my new life.

I have some ideas about that, but most of them are half-baked at best. I'm waiting on some input from some key players, before I finalize any decisions.

However, I DO know for sure that I will be spending a few weeks in the vicinity of the couch of Robbie and Steve, before bouncing up to the Boston area to spend some time on the couches of Andrea and then Miss Melody: http://littlehomeblessings.blogspot.com/ (yeah, I'm not so savvy at the link making). Who has a little boy I have yet to meet.

Also also also! Guess who is giving a reading of her new book at St. Andrews on Thursday, September the 27th? Yeah man, I think it's me!! Anybody got a couch?

The book production is going very well. Thanks to the mad editing skillz of Noelle H., I get to skip the editing phase of production and jump right to format and cover design, which speeds up the release date by another few weeks and also allows me to keep all my made-up words and creative grammar. How much do I love Publish America this afternoon?

Still no definite release date, but I will keep you posted.

In adventuring news, I've managed to have a few, for all that I don't get out much.

A few Saturdays ago I was looking gorgeous and eating delicious gazpacho at a swanky party for Peter, Philly photographer and all around super-awesome guy, and Sunday last I was looking even more fabulous at Sam and Em's house-warming, which was the fliest party I've been to since the Mojo Conference. I don't remember it too well, but I know there was a heck of a lot of gin and tonics, pina coladas, chocolate martinis (Sam makes the BEST chocolate martinis) and a bottle of Maison Louis Jadot Beaujolais; singing of hymns as if they were drinking songs while passing around said bottle of Beaujolais (I'm serious. 6 drunkards singing Amazing Grace in a Mt. Airy apartment kitchen at 11:30 on a Sunday night. That's my kind of spirituality!); and a lot of making out with my best friend's roommate, brother, and girlfriend. Yeah, I was that girl. But don't worry, the vibe on that score was much more I Love Lucy than, you know, 90210 or whatever the popular nighttime drama is these days. (90210. Could I be more behind the times?) (But in my defense, who has time for T.V. what with all the drinking and kissing that goes on?) So yeah, you want to hit up Sam and Em's next party.

In more sober adventuring, the day after the night of drunken debauchery, Mojo and I found a Hobo camp in Jappy's back yard. I am so not even kidding. Next to Jappy's house is this crazy scary abandoned house. It's pretty much the scariest thing since Muffin's Murder House in NC.

And behind that is this thicket of briers and trees and whatnot.

And I dunno if you can see it, I couldn't see it, but Mojo found this path through there. And he did that dog thing where he went a little ways, and came back, and then went a little ways, saying, "Follow me!" So I did. And look what we found:

So cool!! Now, some nay-sayers, when spoken to on the phone (Stephen J.) tried to convince me that I had not found a Hobo camp at all, but rather a "Q-town teen aged delinquent make-out sight." But I beg the differ.

Note the single solitary chair, flimsily constructed to hold, at maximum, one average-sized Hobo. Note also the relics of bean and tuna-fish cans amid the discarded beer cans. What making-out teenagers eat tuna-fish and beans? And if that's Steve's idea of a good make-out time, I caution you ladies! Lastly, stacks of tires and a broken down truck. I rest my case.

After leaving the hobo camp, Mojo and I discovered a beautiful bean field, where Mojo frolicked and, undoubtedly, the luckless hobo found a days work, and perhaps a glimpse of the purdy bean-farmers daughter, hanging out the laundry, her breasts swelling above her calico dress, her beautiful neck glistening with July sweat.

As a final thought, I will leave you with a picture of my toes, from last weeks relaxo-time, and my favorite picture of the worlds best dog in a field of beans.

Summer is good, and getting better. God bless!

"I Heart Relax-o Time"

That's one of my favorite quotes by April Link, who is a girl I heart.

So Thuglife is feeling much better, which means he is also feeling more crabby and OCD.
He spends a lot of time walking around the house looking for things to unplug (he's got an odd fear of spontaneous electrical fires) and doors to close (he has a thing where he always thinks the doors upstairs are opened. They are never opened).
Last night, I was talkin' to Stephen J. on the phone and stepped outside for a hot minute to smoke a cigarette. (Yes I quit. But anyone who knows me well knows that "quitting" is more of a vacation than a commitment for me.)
So I came back in, and kid was not on the couch where I left him, nor anywhere downstairs. So I went upstairs, where I found him lying on the hardwood floor in the hall. I thought he fell, so I quick hung up on Steve and, trying not to be panicking said, "Whatcha doin' down there, Ace?"
He was picking up teeny tiny little pieces of paper that probably fell out of Jappy's purse, or maybe the laundry basket, a Walmart bag, I don't even know.
He's crawling around on his hands and knees picking this shit up. I mean, seriously, people, I coulda got a broom.
So he is frustrated and antsy and in need of activities, but he is still weak and still in a lot of pain, which makes for the most miserable stage of recovery. Today he had a bunch of appointments though, which got his antsy butt out of the house and left time for me and Jappy to get some much-needed R&R.
We cleaned the house and got our nails done. I have Cammero Red toes and Moody Rockstar purple nails. (Robbie is right, in my heart of hearts, I AM a sillyfancy lady.) We had spicy chicken sammiches for lunch and on the way home, we rescued a turtle.
It was a big, pretty box turtle pokin' along across the road.
Actually, he was probably haulin' ass across the road, but you know how it is with turtles. It was a busy road with a 55 mph speed limit. Little guy never woulda made it. So Jappy stopped and I got out and scooped him up and deposited him safely on the other side. It really was a very pretty turtle with a smooth shell that was dark green with lighter, yellow-green stripes and a few red sploches, and I think if I ever ever actually have a place of my own ever in my life, my painting choices will be turtle inspired.
After that, we watched Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra in Anchors Away, and in a hot minute, I'm gonna go outside and blow bubbles, cause after a week of suffocating humidity and thunderstorms, it is freakin' gorgeous out today.
The evening is supposed to be lovely too, and I'm looking forward to sitting out for a bit watching the fireflies.
Hope y'all are having a nice day too.
If you're not I recommend blowing bubbles, for serious.

Pin in the Map

The couch I am currently residing on is my sisters, in the Q-town, PA.

It's a black leather affair, very stylish.

So once again my life is a tad bit... dishevelled.
I'm bouncing around a lot again and probably will be hard to pin down for the next 6 or so months.
I reckon on being here for at lease a little while. Jappy's man was in a pretty bad wreck and needs some looking after for a bit. I have the great fortune to be jobless at the current moment, so I'm the perfect person for that position. 2 days after the crash I was on a plane with a one-way ticket, a lap-top, and a week's worth of clothes.
The cool thing about being a shiftless gypsy is the flexibility.
I will be here for a bit, until Thuglife's back on his feet. My job description mainly consists of making eggs, blending milkshakes, sweeping up after Mojo, and playing video games. Not to shabby. And I get Sundays to play with Blondie, Lauren and my boys, so that's alright too.
Can I work in some hot hot adventures on the east coast? If I can, you'll hear about it. If I can't, I'll make something up, and you'll hear about that. Either way, you win.

And once my buddy has made a full recovery, oh man! The fun times will not stop! Where will I go next? There is no way to predict this. I could be in Chicago in 2 months. I could be in Oxford. You don't know. I could join the crazy kids in Vermont trying to secede from the union. My whims change on a daily basis. I could go to Las Vegas and get married tomorrow.

Except that I make better eggs than Jappy, and that's all Thuglife can eat right now.
So I'll kick it around here for a bit longer, and I'll be posting to keep you posted on major developments.

Speaking of major developments, my publisher says my book will be available in 6-8 weeks.
6-8 weeks son! God damn that's quick.
So excited.

That's all for now. Kisses!