Missing the Sun

Each day, the light lasts a little longer. 

The ground has thawed and is trying to dry. Midgy has her tulips and her daffodils in an impatient line, waiting for the weather to be right so she can get them in the ground.

We want things to grow. We want colors again, and sunshine pouring in. We want to open the windows. 

I'm watching out for Robins. I've heard rumors of them, but I haven't seen anything grace our backyard yet, besides the occasional cagey squirrel. I'm waiting for the embers of their red breasts in the grass, bringing bits of the sun down to warm things up and chase away the winter.

When they come back, I will ask them for a bit of sun-fire. I will take it to his house, and plant it with some orange and red tulips in his front yard.  Maybe the sun will help his heart thaw. 

maybe then we can grow.

Don't You Take That Train to Negative Town!

For a while, there was sweetness. He's always thinking about me. 

Sex in the morning, Valentine's candy. 

Red roses blooming in the Bluecoat bottle. 

Could I be one of these people? 

Grow into love like a crocus through the snow.

For a moment, I think it. 

But oh! 

All the girls, their long legs in stockings, 

high-heeled shoes, lingerie shopping, 

long dark curls across white hotel pillows. 

Men with worn hands 

and wide, boyish smiles, 

door holding at grocery stores 

long looks across Christmas lit parties. 

Musicians I'm always crushing on, 

the one it's not impossible 

will one day kiss me under fireworks. 

long fingers tracing my iliac crests.

Twenty-two year-olds with close-shaved heads 

The faces they make to look sexy in pictures. 

Boys and the smoke, the bars and the drugs, 

Trains, and crashing in anyone's bed, 

kissing a stranger for the poetry of it, 

going to sleep alone, and happy.

All this beauty and potential 

build a river between us

I cannot bridge,

he will not swim across.

The Great Dumpling Disgruntlement of March, 2009

"Oooohh, I have dumplings!"

"Uh, you have A dumpling. One."

"Oh. But, but I want two!"

"I know. But it was all I could do to only eat one."

"Dangit."